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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Just Show Up...a Review

I just saw that the ladies at Mundane Faithfulness( which is on my blog roll) are doing a give away of the book, Just Show Up along with some necklaces. Head over and sign up for this giveaway. And stay and visit this precious blog.

I began reading Kara's blog, Mundane Faithfulness, about a year before she died on March 22, 2015. I was amazed at the love that she poured out to her blog friends in the midst of fighting for her life. She was a young wife and mom to four children. She was ready to die but fought for every day she could have to make an impact on the lives of her children before God called her home. If you have not read her book, The Hardest Peace, I highly recommend it to you.

In her last days here on earth, Kara and her friend, Jill, worked together on this little book, Just Show Up. I can say that it is one of the most helpful books I have ever read about dealing with suffering. I gave it five stars on Good Reads.

Here are just a few of the things I learned from this book.
1.Ask God to put someone on your heart that is suffering. Walk beside them in their hard time.
2. Be specific in offers of help. Please do not say, Call me if you need anything. They are not going to call you.
3. Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as you walk through suffering.
4. It is not about YOU....Release expectations that would remain in a normal friendship.
5. You will say something you wish you had not said...let it go and move on. An example used here was the phrase, I was dying to know something. Later you realize your friend really is dying and you are not in any way, shape or form.
6. Words of comfort are always received as a gift. If you do not know what to say,  "I'm Sorry", " I know this is hard for you" and " I am praying for you" are all you need to say.  There is a hurt and a hardship that you cannot fix.
7. Set boundaries....in caring for others do not forget that you have a family to care for and it may be a season of life where you say no to some things you might have said yes to when you had more time for giving to certain things like Bible Studies, school activities etc.
8. When helping others Satan often uses your insecurities to get the focus off of God. For example, you fear that your suffering friend is mad at you, or she confided something to another friend and Satan whispers in your ear, " She really isn't your best friend". When these feelings come up, stop and pray for your suffering friend...that whatever needs he/she has will be met by loving friends from all the seasons of their life.
9. Be practical in caring for those who are suffering. This might include putting a cooler on the front porch so that friends can drop off meals without disturbing the family. Another helpful hint was placing a chalk board by the door. On days where the patient feels like company, write "Ring the Doorbell and come on in" while on other days it might say...Patient is resting, please leave a note and she will get it when she is feeling better. Leave a basket for notes too.

If you are like me, you are sometimes at a loss to know how to minister to those who are hurting. Jill suggested that you pray about it and ask God to prompt you when you should Just Show Up.

7 comments:

Linda Eller said...

Good post, good suggestions. Have a great day!

Arlene said...

Thanks Linda....it seems more and more often that friends are going through hard times. This book really helped me to be prepared to help!

Terri D said...

Wonderful advice. I know we have all struggled with what to say, or what to do. This is helpful! Thanks for letting us know about these books.

Arlene said...

Yes Terri, you are right. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I would like to read this. Thanks for the good review my friend. Hugs, Diane

Tori Leslie said...

Wow, sounds like a very helpful read. I'm heading over to check it out now. Thanks!

Arlene said...

Diane and Tori, this book is a must read in my opinion. I am the in reach coordinator for our Sunday School and this book really opened my eyes to meeting needs.