Thursday, November 1, 2018

My Comfort Zone

Face it, we all have Rituals but most of us call it our ROUTINE.  Since you have been reading my blog for a while, you probably know I function best when things are scheduled and orderly. Some call me OCD but that is their opinion.:)

Marvin informed me that he told his boss he is hanging up his hat and January 4th will be his last day as a government contractor. He has been working part time for the last two years and that has worked out well for us. Having him home all day every day is going to take some getting used to for this OCD gal. I have heard retirement explained as half as much money, twice as much husband.

 Last Friday, I took my lunch, sat in the chair that Marvin usually sits in and turned on Pioneer Woman. This is my lunch ritual and  one I enjoy. Marvin came into the living room  and told me I was sitting in his chair. I told him that for years this has been my chair at lunch time. I guess this is just one adjustment I will have to make...moving to another  chair.

This made me stop and think about all the little things I do without even realizing I find comfort in the everyday rituals.  I thought I would share some of my rituals with you and I would love to see if I am crazy or if my blog friends have rituals as well.

1. Every morning I sit in my cozy chair in my bedroom to have my devotion, read my email, check facebook, then read the blogs on my blog roll. I cannot start my day until I get this out of the way!

2. I always put my half and half in my cup before pouring my coffee.  I know it tastes better that way.

3. Do you have a particular place where you like to sit? My place is the corner of the sofa. I have my little nest there with a jar of pens, scissors and my stitching nearby.

4. I have certain household chores that I do on certain days and if I get off tract, it takes a while to catch up. And for those of you with retired husbands, do they do chores around the house? I am thinking of some things Marvin can do to keep himself busy. We do not have yard work to do so it would be inside chores.  He really has no hobbies and I do not want him sitting in the recliner all day.

5. When I go to the grocery store, I have to make the same circuit each time. I read that if you start shopping on the far end of the store, you spend less money. It seems it does something to your brain to switch things up.  I just do not know that I could do that. How about you? Someone suggested letting Marvin do the shopping but I LOVE doing my grocery shopping. Not sure I could give that up easily. When I broke my wrist, he went to the store with me and it just was not the same for me.

6. I also have cleaning routines....the order in which I clean and how I do it. Now that I might be able to turn over to Marvin. He is the typical engineer, he would do a meticulous job I am sure but he might start to find my cleaning less than acceptable!  Who know Retirement brought all these challenges?  One of my friends reminded me that I need to be patient as retirement is an adjustment for Marvin as well.

So any and all suggestions are welcome. Retirement is definitely out of my comfort zone.


Ramblings of a Retired Lady said...

I can tell you that it was different for me too and took some time to get used to. But, I am now in another routine and it works. It will for you too...just be patient, learn to adjust well, and enjoy. Change can be good.

Sandy said...

#6 is spot on with it will be an adjustment not just for you BUT for him. I spent a year trying to put myself together and into a routine.
You know we love them, but I can't even begin to imagine having Jeff home everyday. When he is here he is like a very loud buzzing bee zooming around me. He wants to go somewhere and of course I have to go with him or he wants me to help him do something. It took me a long time to get organized with a cleaning routine. With my house I have to do a little bit everyday and like you when I get off the routine I get off the feel good wagon. I like to do a zone a day and I get so messed up if I miss a day. I only have the energy for the plan I made. I have a chair which I don't think he will mess with. I chose something too small for him to enjoy and I don't really like his special chair. And I can't even imagine how he will mess up my morning routine or my eating routine. Whew ---yea it will be hard. I like the quote of less money and more husband.
Good luck. Enjoy every quiet moment you have these next two months.

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

My husband started doing volunteer work as soon as he retired so that keeps him super busy. We do different things each day and go our separate ways. lol Most people think that you all of a sudden do everything together. You'll have to work it out and change things up. But it will be FUN...I promise! (And you'll find lots to do together too!)

Robin in Virginia said...

Retirement is a big adjustment. I retired after the husband and it took a while to figure it out. He had his routines and I had to come to terms that I no longer had to cram all the chores into the weekend. Just give yourself time to adjust; it is going to be an adjustment for Marvin. Perhaps he might be interested in doing some volunteer work.

LEfting said...

We've both been retired since 2003. And it's been a wonderful 15 years! We are both busy, it's a life of give and take and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our home is OUR home, it's not all his and it's not all mine. Retirement is great and you'll love it.

Jan said...

It is an adjustment, but I didn't find it bad at all. I think maybe because we moved so quickly after he retired, that we both found a new routine together in a new place. It wasn't a matter of him suddenly having to fit into mine. I think that would have been harder. We enjoy our time together, but we have our own interests that we do on our own too. Of course, we spend a lot of time together with our grandkids, but that's why we moved here! After you get used to it, I think you'll enjoy it!

Meg said...

I "retired" last year in March (when I went on disability), and at first I was a busy bee, decluttering and cleaning like a mad woman (working full time left me no energy to get to any of that). Then I got SICK - like near-death sick - last summer, and I lost my momentum. Because some days the side effects from chemo will not let me do what I want to do, I have a very hard time sticking to a routine, and I miss my routine. Some days I can barely walk, let alone clean.

On days when my husband is home from work, we are either running errands all day, or we sit all day and watch TV. I don't care for either one - I like a little of both - an errand or two, and some down time watching TV. If Shawn were home all day every day, I'm afraid he and I would be full-time couch potatoes. It's hard to tell him no when he says, "Let's watch this together," because over the years I've had so very little down time with him. Between his full-time job and his mother's ranch, he often works 26-28 out of 30 days in a month.

I think your retired friends have it right - give him time to find his way. It is definitely an adjustment! But stand up for yourself as well. Your routines are every bit as important as his.

Carol said...

I wish you luck, Arlene! I know my husband will be cutting back his hours and then retiring in 2020, but it will really throw me off schedule, too. On the other hand, I am looking forward to him being home more so we can get some bigger house projects attended to that we have been putting off. I am still adjusting to being retired myself (and not well!) so I can't imagine what it will be like when we are both here all day. He does have summer hobbies, but needs to get some winter ones :)

Gina said...

Arlene, I wish I had advice for you. Bob is still working but hopes to go to part-time next year. Is there a senior center nearby that has activities/sports? Is there something at the church that he might be interested in helping with? Good luck! :-)

Terri D said...

Joe and I do just fine, but he really does nothing around the house to help now because his health doesn't allow it. He does still have a few clients and spends time at his computer each day, with email and Facebook. We go shopping together, but we always have. I'm not OCD. I don't have rituals. We have had a harder time getting used to having one car than me being home with him all day. There is that... he retired before I did. You will work it out. Just talk to each other!

RJ said...

Take it one day at a time Arlene. You may find you will have a lot of fun together and really enjoy it. One of our military benefits is we can fly on military flights to Europe and elsewhere for free. We had big plans to travel and see the world but just a few months after my husband retired he got very sick. Just like Meg our world now is planned according to his chemo schedule, how his meds are affecting him (eating and energy etc.) and now we can't leave town for more than five days so trips around the world just aren't in our plans anymore.

I've changed more is a totally immaculate home important. My husband is not neat be it. We do alot of things together...the beach, Gator games, walks, he writes his books and I cross stitch. And we have our separate times too. When George is up to it he golfs, spins, has lunches and breakfasts with his buddies etc. He volunteers his time doing projects with Rotary. I like to craft shop, lunches out with friends, work on the blog and long walks. It wasn't what we planned for retirement but it is working. Trust me you will both find your way and it will be great. RJ

Miss Dishywoo said...

I have no advice, only waiting to hear yours after Marvin retires. My husband has been talking retirement, too, so I think about this a lot. I have a routine, I like schedules, etc. My husband is SURE he will keep himself busy. His parents live nearby and he helps them a lot and he SAYS he will join a gym and work out often, etc. I would prefer to know days and times for these things rather than just a spontaneous outing that gives me two hours alone LOL! On the other hand, I love the idea of him being so much more relaxed and us having time to do things that we can't do now because of his work schedule. Husband and I have spent time talking about how we imagine those days and how we each want to spend our time, both together and separately. That is fun and reassuring to me to get to say what I need and hear his ideas. Try it!

Mrs.T said...

My hubby plans to retire from his present job in just over a year. Our plan is that at that point we will take 6 months off, maybe do some traveling, and spend a lot of time thinking, brainstorming and praying about what we would like to do next.

Then he will likely find a different job, maybe working at Tractor Supply, Home Depot, or the local hardware store. Something low-key and far removed from the stress of his busy current job. He has also talked about doing some volunteer work.

He has told me he wants to take over a good bit of the housework, and I am more than fine with that. He helps out now wherever he can, so I have an idea of his capabilities.

With his present job, he occasionally has a day off due to weather, and yes, he does tend to interrupt my routine with a coffee invitation (or a hug!), but I'm fairly confident that when he is home full time we will fall into a routine, especially since we'll be making a plan together. I think taking that six months to regroup is going to be a very good thing.